The Lounge

Ladies, listen up, it's time for me to drop some science on your ears about the bathroom situation.

The fact that you can catch an STD from a toilet seat is a myth.

What part or your body touches the toilet seat? If you're anything like me, it's your ass/thighs. It's not your vajayjay. It's not your butthole. I'm pretty sure I don't hump my  toilet seat. Okay. So it's my buttcheeks and thighs. Personally, mine are pretty clean. They stay protected in my clothing all day. I don't wipe so crazily that fecal matter or urine end up on them. In fact, I'd go the extra mile and say my thighs and buttcheeks are cleaner than my hands. Seeing as they stay inside my clothes all day and aren't out touching all kinds of things.

Women are very good at urinating standing up. Typically, it gets all over the toilet seat. The toilet seat that would have stayed pristine if you had actually sat on it in the first place.

Okay, so all things considered: STOP HOVER PISSING!!!!! Seriously. It just gets things disgusting for the rest of us. I am so sick of walking into a stall only to find yellow droplets all over the toilet seat. EW!

And for the love of all things civil, if you dribble, clean it up. Gawd. We're grown ups now, it's time to respect each other's most basic right to urniate in a clean environment, okay?

Original Post by betzc:

They are probably the ones who don't wash their hands either :( 

What about the people who think that "washing their hands", is running their hands under the water for 3 seconds with soap on them?

It's like, seriously... why bother, they're not even getting CLEAN that way.  come on now people, vigorous rubbing, 30 second minimum.

I always wondered about the ladies bathoom stuff.  TMI but funny.  I would like to add: Please!  All building and resturant bathroom designers: Make the frek'n doors open OUTWARD as you LEAVE the bathroom.  You should be able to get out of any public bathroom using only your hip or butt to push the door.  I hate it when you have to have a "paper towel plan" to make sure you open the handle using a paper towel and one in the other hand to get out the second door.  How hard is it to frame a door so that you use the handle to get in and anything but your hands to get out?  <end rant> 

we had to post a "if your sprinkle when you tickle" sign in the bathroom at work.  It was HORRIBLE

Original Post by j-snyder:

This is too funny.  I had to explain to my husband the horrors of sitting down on a seat only to realize you didn't see the droplets and should have swiped it with toilet paper first.  That is the MOST uncomfortable feeling.  *shudder*  Even he was terrified ;)

 I have had that happen to me one too many times, so now I wipe the seat before I sit down no matter what, even if I can't see anything.  It's very reassuring.

Call me weird but I don't care what part of your body may or may not touch the toilet but I'm not sitting on it with out a seat protector, though I usually Hover AND wipe up after myself is there is any peepee on the seatie. As far touching the latch to the stall, I'm going to watch my hands so no biggie, but I use my papertowel to cut off the water and open the door (if I can't bump it with my booty to get out)

Original Post by dougdebug:

I always wondered about the ladies bathoom stuff.  TMI but funny.  I would like to add: Please!  All building and resturant bathroom designers: Make the frek'n doors open OUTWARD as you LEAVE the bathroom.  You should be able to get out of any public bathroom using only your hip or butt to push the door.  I hate it when you have to have a "paper towel plan" to make sure you open the handle using a paper towel and one in the other hand to get out the second door.  How hard is it to frame a door so that you use the handle to get in and anything but your hands to get out?   

Dude, I totally heard you Doug.  Think how many paper towels would be saved that way?!

On another note, I love bathrooms that have automatic everything.  Doors, paper towel dispenser, sinks.  Saves me from having to touch anything!

When I was in Switzerland, they had this awesome device.  You stuck your hand in the holes, and soap came down, then after a certain time period, water, then after another time period, hot air.  It forced people to do proper hand washing, and you didn't have to touch anything!  God I love the Swiss.

Original Post by caverlady:

I'm sorry but I just can't.  It may be a bit OCD of me but I just can't sit on that seat!  Yuk!  I promise to leave it clean though.

 Then I hate you.

Dear Three Happiness Cantonese Restaurant:

You might feel like putting the toilet seat up makes it look like you've cleaned your tiny restroom, but you aren't fooling me. After getting some paper towels to lower your seat, I could distinctly see poop patches on the seat. I then put soap and water on the paper towel and soaped up the seat. Then I got dry paper towel and wiped it dry. I know it only took me a minute, but cleaning your toilet right before I go eat my lunch was pretty unappetizing. In the future can we prevent this kind of thing from happening?

Sincerely,
Diner who will never come back

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A few more things I forgot in my original rant:

Women, in underdeveloped countries, they just have a hole in the ground. Why don't you move there if you want to stand while peeing? Do us all a favor.

Oh, also... if you're going to hoverpiss, why don't you just lift the seat? Then you wouldn't pee all over it.

And a last thought: I was at the library the other day and went in to find two stalls: one where the toilet seat was missing and one where the whole stall (toilet seat, floor) were covered in bright yellow pee. First: why aren't you hoverpissing over the stall that would be ideal for that purpose? Second: please hydrate yourself.

and please, PLEASE for the love of God and Baby Jesus, WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!

i can not tell you how many times i hear a chick come in to the bathroom, use it, then go out and turn the water on, then right off. you can't wash your hands in less than a second. this happens daily.

I DON'T WANT YOUR FECAL MATTER ON MY HANDS WHEN I TRY TO LEAVE THE BATHROOM!!!!!

i never touch doors with my bare hands anymore. it's always with a paper towel or two. and not just bathroom doors, but all doors, including shared refrigerator doors. and elevator buttons. these dirty heiffers are still dirty when they leave the bathroom, and those same poop germs get transmitted to every portal they encounter. i don't touch the faucet turns, either.

I agree, OP, AND I don't believe for one MINUTE that any of you hover pissers actually take the time to wipe up your sprinkles.

You're saying that you won't SIT on the seat that might or might not have pee on it...but you Will mop it up with TP after?

Bologna.

somebody asked a while back if we neurotic ones behave this way at home. i most assuredly do. if someone's over my house and used the bathroom, i wipe the seat down first, then use it, b/c i don't have seat protectors at home (which aren't protective enough, since they're permeable paper). then on with the rest of it.

Original Post by dalmalama:

somebody asked a while back if we neurotic ones behave this way at home. i most assuredly do. if someone's over my house and used the bathroom, i wipe the seat down first, then use it, b/c i don't have seat protectors at home (which aren't protective enough, since they're permeable paper). then on with the rest of it.

That's why I have a seperate guest bathroom, that I don't use!  In fact, even though there's 3 bathrooms in our place, there's only ONE I use.  Haha.

Yes, I'm broken in the head, I'm over it.

the sad irony is that the people who hover piss and don't flush are probably the most compulsive clean freaks, and if you ever did that in their homes they'd lose their crazy little minds.

at my last place i didn't use the guest bathroom either!

This is a firecracker of a topic!I work in an office building full of grown and they don't always remember to flush after a #2! What is that?!?

I totally foot flush. I figure if other people are using their feet, I'm using mine!

And I also despise the hover pee. I have been sitting on toilet seats for 23 some odd years and I've never contracted anything from the seat. That's a record I proudly stand by.

On a side note, my bf can use the washroom (urinal or regular toilet public or at home) without ever touching it. Which is a feat if you consider that as a rule we always leave the seat down after use.

And to add an only slightly related beef, why do the majority of public toilets not work properly? The either don't flush all the way (too low flow), the handle needs to be held down, the auto flush doesn't work, or (and my least favorite) the ones that launch a whirlpool of water at you! (if you're ever in the Kelowna airport ladies, avoid the toilets right before the security checkpoint. DANGER!)

I don't understand why everyone is so germaphobic... we have immune systems for a reason.

I don't want to sit in someone else's pee, don't get me wrong.  But, the chances of you getting remotely sick or even affected by anything lurking in the bathroom is slim to none.

I do agree that flushing is just necessary, always.

I also think that hover peeing should be added as an Olympic event... ;-)

I definitely agree about the ridiculousness of hover-peeing. Please don't pee on the seat and leave it, especially if you're not planning on flushing either.

I don't have an issue touching almost anything in a bathroom. I'll flush with my hands, or my feet (depends on how gross the bathroom is as a whole), I don't mind touching the doors or the faucets.. etc etc.

I don't get sick almost ever. I think this is partly because I'm not afraid of germs.

I mean, don't get me wrong; I'll wash my hands after I use the bathroom, but I don't spend my whole day worrying about what I'm touching. I refuse to use any of that 99.9% germ ridder gel stuff because I'm pretty sure that it's worse for me than my germs.

That's all.

Original Post by dalmalama:

i never touch doors with my bare hands anymore. it's always with a paper towel or two. and not just bathroom doors, but all doors, including shared refrigerator doors. and elevator buttons. 

No offense, but this comes off as more than a little nuerotic.  Do you also refuse to shake people's hands when you first meet them?  How do you deal with coin change from a cashier?

Original Post by rebepi:

I definitely agree about the ridiculousness of hover-peeing. Please don't pee on the seat and leave it, especially if you're not planning on flushing either.

I don't have an issue touching almost anything in a bathroom. I'll flush with my hands, or my feet (depends on how gross the bathroom is as a whole), I don't mind touching the doors or the faucets.. etc etc.

I don't get sick almost ever. I think this is partly because I'm not afraid of germs.

I mean, don't get me wrong; I'll wash my hands after I use the bathroom, but I don't spend my whole day worrying about what I'm touching. I refuse to use any of that 99.9% germ ridder gel stuff because I'm pretty sure that it's worse for me than my germs.

That's all.

 this is me too!